Losing a parent is one of the hardest things you'll go through. Grief doesn't follow a schedule, and neither does the administrative avalanche that follows a death. This checklist won't make it easier emotionally. But it will help you know what needs to happen, in what order, so nothing important falls through the cracks while you're in the hardest weeks of your life.
Quick answers
- The first 24-48 hours: get a death certificate, notify immediate family, contact a funeral home, and secure the property.
- First two weeks: notify financial institutions, government agencies (Social Security, Medicare), and the employer if applicable.
- Estate and legal: locate the will, contact the executor, open probate if required, and engage an estate attorney for complex situations.
- The house: decide on timeline, coordinate belongings removal (estate sale, donation, cleanout), and prepare for sale or transfer.
- You don't have to do this alone. Senior move managers, elder law attorneys, and estate professionals exist specifically to help families in this situation.
The First 24-48 Hours
If not already done by medical staff, call 911 or a hospice nurse. A physician must pronounce the death before a body can be moved.
You don't need to decide on all funeral arrangements immediately, but you need to choose a funeral home so the body can be transferred. If your parent had pre-arranged funeral plans, locate those documents now.
If your parent lived alone, secure their home. Make sure it's locked, notify a trusted neighbor, and retrieve any spare keys. If pets are in the home, arrange care immediately.
Make the calls that need to happen. You don't have to notify everyone today. Close family first.
Order at least 10-15 certified copies from the funeral home or vital records office. Banks, financial institutions, and government agencies each want an original. Running out of copies is a common, frustrating delay.
The First Two Weeks: Who to Notify
Call 1-800-772-1213. Benefits paid in the month of death may need to be returned. If your parent had a surviving spouse, notify SSA about potential survivor benefits.
Notify the relevant agency. Medicaid may have estate recovery claims depending on the state. Ask an elder law attorney about this.
If your parent was a veteran, contact the VA. Burial benefits and survivor benefits may be available.
If your parent had a pension or was receiving employer benefits, contact the plan administrator.
Contact banks, credit unions, investment and brokerage accounts with the death certificate. Initiate life insurance claims. Notify the mortgage servicer or landlord and credit card companies.
Cancel recurring subscriptions: streaming services, gym memberships, magazine subscriptions, utilities eventually. This prevents continued charges and simplifies estate settlement.
Death Certificates: Order More Than You Think
Most families order 3-5 death certificates and run out. Banks, financial institutions, and government agencies each want an original certified copy -- not a photocopy. Order 10-15 upfront through the funeral home or your county's vital records office. Getting additional copies later takes time and varies by state. This is one of the easiest bottlenecks to avoid.
Estate and Legal Steps
This is where things get more complex, especially if the estate has significant assets, real estate, or any family disagreement.
Locate the Will
Find the original will as soon as possible. Check the home office, filing cabinets, a safe, or a safe deposit box. The will names the executor and outlines how assets are to be distributed.
If you can't find a will, your parent may have died intestate, meaning the state's default rules govern how assets are distributed.
Probate
Probate is the legal process of validating a will and administering the estate under court supervision. Whether you need to go through probate depends on the total value of the estate, how assets were titled, and your state's rules. Jointly owned assets and assets with named beneficiaries typically bypass probate.
For estates with real estate, significant financial assets, or complexity, engaging an elder law or estate attorney is strongly recommended. Attorney fees typically run $2,000-$10,000+ depending on complexity.
Taxes
- File a final federal and state income tax return for your parent (due April 15 of the following year)
- If the estate earns income during administration, a separate estate income tax return may be required
- Federal estate tax applies only to estates over $13.6 million (2024). Most families don't face this
- State estate or inheritance taxes vary by state
Important Documents to Locate
- Will and any trust documents
- Life insurance policies
- Deeds to real property
- Vehicle titles
- Bank and investment account statements
- Tax returns from the past 3 years
- Debts and liabilities (mortgage, loans, credit cards)
The House: What Happens to the Property
If your parent owned their home, the property needs to be addressed. This is often the most time-consuming and emotionally demanding part of estate settlement.
Establish the Timeline
Most estates aim to sell or transfer the property within 3-12 months of death. The timeline depends on the estate's financial needs, probate requirements, and the condition of the home.
Before You Can Sell
Before the home goes on the market, it needs to be emptied of personal belongings, cleaned and assessed for repairs, and listed through a real estate agent (look for a Seniors Real Estate Specialist, SRES designation).
Emptying the home is often underestimated. A lifetime of belongings takes weeks to sort through.
Options for Belongings
See our guides on [estate sale vs. estate cleanout](/articles/estate-sale-vs-estate-cleanout/) and [how to clear out a parent's house](/articles/how-to-clear-out-parents-house/) for more detail.
Taking Care of Yourself (And Your Siblings)
Estate administration is a marathon, and it tends to land unevenly, usually on whoever lives closest or volunteered first. A few things that help:
Divide tasks by skill set, not proximity. The sibling who lives across the country can handle phone calls, paperwork, and research. The local sibling handles physical logistics. Make the division explicit.
Keep a shared log. Use a shared Google Doc or simple spreadsheet to track what's been done, what's pending, and what documents are where. This prevents duplicated effort and reduces conflict.
Hire help when you need it. The cost of an estate attorney, senior move manager, or professional organizer is real. So is the cost of months of family stress, sibling conflict, and decisions made under exhaustion. For complex estates or families under strain, professional help often pays for itself in reduced conflict alone.
Give yourself permission to grieve. Administrative tasks can feel like a distraction from grief, or sometimes a welcome one. Both are normal. There's no right way to move through this.
If you're dealing with your parent's home and belongings, you don't have to coordinate everything yourself. Senior move managers specialize in helping families clear, sort, and transition a parent's home, even in the aftermath of a loss. For legal questions about the estate, elder law attorneys can help navigate probate, Medicaid recovery, and asset distribution. Our directory lists both senior move managers and elder law resources by state. Find help near you at /directory/.
Frequently Asked Questions
How long does settling a parent's estate take?
Simple estates with no real property can be settled in a few months. Estates with real estate, probate requirements, or family complexity typically take 6-18 months. If there's litigation or a contested will, it can take years. Hiring an estate attorney early, before you're stuck, significantly speeds the process for complex situations.
Do I have to go through probate?
Not always. Assets held jointly, assets with named beneficiaries (like life insurance and retirement accounts), and assets held in a trust typically bypass probate. If your parent's estate consists mainly of these types of assets, probate may not be required. An elder law or estate attorney in your state can give you a definitive answer based on your specific situation.
What do I do with a parent's house that no one wants to live in?
Most families sell. The process: empty the home, make necessary repairs, and list it with a real estate agent experienced with estate sales (look for the SRES designation). If the estate is in probate, the sale may need court approval. If the home needs significant work, a cash buyer or investor may be the fastest path even at a lower price.
What if my parent had debts? Am I responsible?
In most cases, no. Children are not personally responsible for a parent's debts unless they were a co-signer. Debts are paid from estate assets before anything is distributed to heirs. If the estate doesn't have enough to cover debts, creditors generally don't collect from heirs. They simply don't get paid. Consult an estate attorney if creditors are contacting you directly.